Saturday, March 25, 2006

L'Haïtianisme, c'est Quoi?

Us et Coutumes d'un Haïtien(ne).  Peut-être vous vous reconnaitrez aussi dans cette caricature d'en bas, un peu burlesque, qui m'a été envoyée par quelqu'un de très proche qui quoique né en dehors  d'Haïti, est fier de dire qu'il a des attaches haitiennes. (Crédit à celui ou celle qui a décrit ces traits culturels du peuple haïtien)

Peu importe ce que vous en dites après lecture, m'a p di: mon chè, ma chè, ce mem nou mem lan._________________________

You Know You're Haïtian When...
Your parents still put you "a genou" even though you
are 19.

You use bed sheets as window curtains.

You've eaten rice and beans within the past 3 days.

You eat too much chicken, diri kole, or diri a djon

You buy your cereal at Farmer's Market.

You try to bargain your way out of everything and
anywhere even in department stores.

To get out of trouble with a fellow Haitian, you use
the phrase: "bon sa-ou genyen la?, se Ayisyen nou ye

Once the temperature gets below a certain level, you
lose all concepts of coordination when it comes to
things like snow boots, winter coats, scarves, and
hats often doing things like wearing two different
color hats at the same time.

You have a bunch of expensive perfumes on your dresser
but prefer to use the cheaper ones because you don't
want to waste your good stuff.

Your house is so packed with meubles and *biblos* that
you can't even take two steps.

There are entire rooms in your house that no one is
allowed to go in because they are reserved for

You have three sets of china: odd, even, and

You might be late for a wedding or may not even even
show up at all,... but damn it, you are early for the

You prefer juice in the form of concentrated syrup.

The weakest old woman can strike fear into your heart
with just one look.

When you really get mad at someone you want to take
off your shoe and slap him or her with it.

You prefer salt and pepper in your peanut butter
rather than sugar.

Saturday is "bouillon day" at your house

Yawning more often indicates hunger than fatigue.

All soda is called "cola" and all chewing gum is
called "Chicklets".

Maggi, Matouk's Hot Sauce, & tomato paste are cooking

You refuse to throw out old grease. So that everything
you fry has that taste of fried fish, chicken, bannan
pese, or griot.

The US is only made up of three cities: Miami, NY, and

2001 was more significant than the year 2000.

Deep fried pork (griot) is one of your favorite

You have either Jean or Marie placed somewhere in your
name and you know someone named Roro, Fanfan, Pouchon
or Marie Rose.

Your furniture is too big for your house.

You dip bread in your coffee, hot chocolate, and even
certain kinds of liquor (Kremas).

You go to work as though you were dressed for church,
you go to church as if you were dressed for a wedding,
and you go to a wedding as if you were dressed to meet
Queen Elizabeth.

When you hear "pssssssssst", you know that someone is
trying to get your attention.

You nod your head upward to greet someone when you're
too busy to talk.

If someone says that the party starts at 8pm, then you
know not to show up until 11PM!

You're proud to be Haitian - and you pass these jokes
on to all your Haitian friends!


Et voilà: Et ne me dites pas que même un ou deux ( ou même trois) de ces traits culturels ne vous vont pas bien! Dans ce cas, vous n'êtes pas un(e) Ayisyen (ne) natif natal.

Note qui n'a rien à voir: Voyons si le premier ministre français Dominique de Villepin sera aussi capable de résoudre les problèmes internes de la France que les "problèmes" de l'Irak et d'Haïti (quand il était ministre des affaires étrangères!!!)  ...maintenant que le gouvernement français fait face à une crise et une révolte populaire formidables.


Ayiti Chérie Connexion "capté " par Global Voices:

Americas Haiti, Arts & Culture, Diaspora, Ethnicity, Food, Humor, Photography Global Roundups

AyitiCheriConnexion posts (FR) an English language 35-point list of things that make one Haitian, sent to the blogger by a Haitian born outside of Haiti. AyitiCheri tacks on seven slides of staples of Haitian culture including the inevitable djondjon and griot.


No comments: